Shut Down the Chatterbox

I went for run tonight. My first in a week. I so desperately wanted to fit one in over these last 95 degree days but didn’t dare. I was excited for the sprinkle that was coming down and prayed with both kids before bedtime that it would continue through the night. We are so desperately in need of rain.

The run began and the rain continue to fall. Mile 1. Mile 2. Mile 3. The rain started falling a little harder and a bit heavier. Mid-mile 3 I decided to take the Main Road back home because it was better lighting and more open spaces. My thought, as the light disappeared, was that it might be safer. It added a half-mile or so, but I felt great and wasn’t worried. Mile 4.
run in rainI knew at this corner I had about 2 miles till I was done. Sound Cloud call was wrapping up and another about to begin and I still felt good. And then it happened.

Lightning. No thunder as a warning. No heavier rain to help me predict its arrival. Just a single bolt of lightning. It hit so close to me I could feel the electricity through the ground and it made my toes curl.
lightningWhat I did next was probably stupid, but I ducked under a tree in order to shelter myself from the rain as the thunder crashed. I pulled my ear plug out from underneath my now soaked #RunLikeKeith hat, pulled my phone out and shut it off and tucked everything back into my running pouch.

Then I waited. All I heard was the sound of rain bounding off the leaves and roof tops. I started to think about all the possible scenarios from this point forward;

If I get out from under the tree will lightning strike? Wicked Tuna says lightning likes a moving target? Will it hit me or the tree first? What is Graig starts to worry and tries to call me? If he cannot get through he will panic and come driving to find me. He cannot leave the house the kids are sleeping. If he leaves the kids he will have to call a neighbor and tell them I am running in this storm. The neighbors are going to think I am an idiot! I don’t need anyone else thinking I am an idiot!migrane

CRASH THE CHATTERBOX.

You know what I am talking about. That senseless and babbling voice between your ears.

Shut. It. Down.

I stopped it, took a deep breath and waited. After a minute of focusing more on my breathing then the storm I was stuck running the last 2 miles in, I finally heard it. That Devine whisper that comes from within. I heard it audibly.

“Trust me. Ready, Set, Go.”

Without another though my feet started to hit the pavement. Faster and harder than they had the first 4 miles, but with determination and without doubt.FullSizeRender (1)

There wasn’t a Single lightning strike or clap of thunder until I walked safely through the garage door.

You see, the first part of the run I was focused on the numbers; How far? How fast? How long? I compare myself to other runners, to my previous run and to friends and family that runs.

For the last leg, I simply focused on the journey and how much I wanted to be home, be with my children and my husband. I ran for them. I ran for me. I ran.

I was given a gift last month when I found a ‘company about personal growth disguised as a person care company.’  I followed a tug on my heart, a whisper and dove in with two feet.

So stop comparing and start being fair to yourself.

If you feel a tug on your heart – chase it instead of letting the chatter box talk you out of it.

Trust. This. Journey. Be the best version of you. #mywhy #lifebydesign

trust journey